I don't talk about personal things for several reasons, I could easily alienate everyone I know, if I did.
Deep down I am an incredibly angry person, unsure of his own future whether or not he should be in the course he is in. I had to deal with almost continually being picked on, from grade 3 to year 11(stopped at year 11).
And at one point was nearly molested by another year 7 kid, in defence I stabbed him in the hand with a pen I was holding.
You wanna get into the whole thing, I'm find it difficult being in large gatherings, especially when I'm dragged of to parties, where I barely know anyone. I don't feel like I belong, so I withdraw into my shell so to speak...
My borther before leaving for Melbourne for his operation, told me I was to blame for ruining his life, that I stole most of his friends. Do you know how that felt when you think he might not have been coming back?
The only reason I met his friends is because he dragged me along to a lot of things.
I've been broke for the past three weeks, only five dollars literally to my name!
I don't talk about my personal opinions becasue a lot of people annoy me, and I don't want to hurt them, and they don't often sit to well with others. I'm also perpetually tired because I go to bed at around one in the morning, and get up at seven in the morining, six hours of sleep, instead of nine hours.
I don't have a great job, but because of Uni I can't even work there at all!
I had to deal with the shock that once you reach VCE, the teachers don't care for you being you, they just want you to fit into a program they have decided is the best for you, and then returning to the old way upon reacxhing University.
As many of my friends who knew me from Golden Square say, VCE destroyed me...academically.
I can't talk to girls, I'm to scared to, so my chances of getting a girlfriend are limited, I keep thinking I'll end up like my Great Uncle, a seventy year old bachelor, who doesn't think he's old.
I offer good advice, but rarely follow it myself, making me a hypocrite, and I hate hypocrites.
I want to be a writer but my writing is subpar.
Enough personal crap, now I've had my fucking bitch...
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7 comments:
I'm sorry things aren't good for you right now.
But I'm glad I know how you feel.
I didn't mean to offend or anything with what I said in my last comment. It's just that I can't get into anything unless I see the human factor.
As for what Mat said, you know that was just him dealing with his own insecurities, at a time when he was very stressed. Nobody would ever think that you would actually try and steal his friends. I do consider you a friend, as much as I do Mat. But that was my choice. I found you to be a truly interesting and fun person to be around, and I still do.
You shouldn't feel too bad for being an introvert. It's a way of life for a lot of people, and there's nothing wrong with it. I used to be exactly the same. It's only a problem if you're not happy with it, and you can always change if that's what you really want.
As for girls, well, relationships are never easy. I'm personally of the opinion that you have to make a lot of mistakes before you'll really start learning how to talk to girls.
But you will never be your uncle. Clearly you already have a different attitude than him.
I feel bad that I haven't really helped you with your writing. I know that it's something you want to do, and I should have made more of an effort. From now on, I'll try. Your writing may be sub-par right now, but you can improve. I've heard some of your ideas for stories and I know that you can be a writer. All you have to work on is the mechanics of actually wording it well.
Cheers man.
I'm over it already, as I said before, this is why I don't like talking about past happenings. People make a big deal of it.
I'm not really a subpar writer, the only things I have written though in a while, haven't been proofread, and really just hastily done pieces of work that don't represent my true vision of my story.
I blame VCE
Of course I could also blame the changing weather patterns...
Or the lack of sleep I had the night before
Or simply just the fact that I'm sitting in front of a mac, and not in front of my ultra cool new computer!
Yes Ultra cool, I'm hip and up to date, I swear!
Now time for some PVP comicing
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